Holi Moly

My honest-to-blog review of the 2013 Jozi Holi One/ We are one festival. Play-by-play, homies. PLAY. BY. PLAY.

2 Weeks before We are one:

Holi Moly – I hate to start on a negative note, but WHAT a ticket palava. Holi’s advertising stinks, so a lot of my friends missed out on tickets. Also, the use of a sub-par ticket hosting site means that many people are losing out due to technical errors. Not cool.

Holi Moly – I own no white clothing. What a stress. (Thank God for Mr P.)

Emmerentia dam – On arrival:

Holi Moly – I walk in through the entrance and all I can say is – What a well organized event. The sun is shining and for once festival food is something to get excited about! From spicy biryanis, to delicious stirfries, to Greek gyros, to chocolate dipped waffles on a stick! Not only is the food good, but the ginormous bar can also accommodate the hoards of people expected today. With a brutal fruit slushie in my hand, so far, so freaking good.

Holi Moly – Shopping!! Affordable goods to make your day extra fun and safe; Face masks with famous mouths printed on them, from The Joker, to the Cookie monster, to my own selection – Barbie. (Asthma annihilator!) White clothing for people who didn’t get the memo. (Thanks for telling me.) White umbrellas for more colour and sun coverage. (And eye poke-out…ing.) And of course, full body suits with goggles and masks, for those that want complete coverage from the colour. (Um… Just stay at home?)

Holi Moly – People are arriving… and I have a feeling I am going to be face-palming A LOT today. Is this Jersey Shore? Am I being Punk’d? Ashton? So so so very many orange idiots walking around. This is not H2O. Confused and a little bit irritated. Do these events not have a screening process?
Security: “Sorry sir, you are only wearing a speedo. Access denied.” or “Uh, ma’am, you look like a Dorito. Access denied.”

Holi Moly – I am SO lucky I went with great people. I’m not socializing with these freaks. YAY powder! YAY colour! *choke* YAY face mask! Much jumping around and powder throwing ensues.

Holi Moly – What shit is this line-up they call music? I was expecting something with, like, lyrics and stuff. As the sun moves downwards, the music is getting more unbearable.

Holi Moly– Let’s get out of here. Our pretty dust is thrown, we are filthy, the jocks are on the move…. and now the car is dirty. Sorry Danny.


Holi Moly – At least we enjoyed ourselves in our own bubble of colour and fun. AND we manged to get some great shots out of it. *Hi 5!* (Photos below courtesy of Jennifer Leigh, Daniel Brocklebank and myself.)

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A week later:

Holi Moly – Still coughing up powder. This breathing business is not easy.


CRAP ticket organizers, AMAZING event organizers, LOVELY food, GREAT retail therapy, SHITTY music line-up, SCARY guest list. PRETTY colour dust! AWESOME friends.

Next year, maybe I’ll go to India instead?

Did anyone else go? I have a feeling CPT had a less vom-worthy crowd? Yeah?

– And they had December streets performing! Gosh.




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