The sting is just enough to be irritating, but not painful enough to induce guilt… Therefore I am wishing nothing more than a papercut upon the following social media offenders:
1. People who use hashtags on Facebook.
Why why why why? Hashtags belong on Twitter. THEY LOOK IDIOTIC ON FACEBOOK. My goodness.
2. People who post Google images on Instagram.
The point of using Instagram filters, is to make your own personal photography pretty – like an old-school polaroid camera. NOT to post “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” quotes and other stuff of that gosh-awful nature.
3. People who write one status across four Twitter posts.
If it can’t be said in one or maybe two twitter posts, please please please take it to a blog, or a facebook status. (Or like, write a novel or something.) Characters are limited for a reason! (My sanity)
4. People who repin on Pinterest – without changing the caption.
Why do you re-pin and not change the original “This is for Stacey!” caption? Do you even know a Stacey?!
5. People who write 1st world pity posts (With absolutely no irony.)
“My life is in shambles… First, I couldn’t find my car keys, then I got a flat tire when I rode over a dog, and now my Robbie Williams – Millenium single is stuck in the cd player.”
I don’t care. I don’t think anyone else does. BLOCK BLOCK BLOCK.
6. People who use 200 hashtags per post
#I #dont #see #any #space #left #for #an #actual #message #Why #dont #you #delete #some #effing #hashtags #?
7. Internet trolls.
Those people who think they can be irritating/mean/insensitive/stupid because they are sitting behind a keyboard. PAPERCUTS TO ALL OF YOU.
8. People who call Pinterest, PIN-INTEREST.
I could die, seriously. It’s wordplay people – a word that COMBINES both PIN and INTEREST.
You may go back to your daily chores. ie: Procrastination.