My world is, and has always been, consumed by the never-ending sensation of tiredness.
Being a terrible sleeper from childhood, I have learned to cope with everyday life on minimal sleep. Unhealthy, I know – but something I’ve grown used to. However, I find that when I’m faced with a heavier than usual work-week, weird shit starts to happen. This is usually a sign that I actually need to make a conscious effort to GO TO SLEEP EARLIER.
If any of these things have happened to you this week – take it as a sure-fire signal that you need a decent nap. (Let me also just clarify that these events are 100% true and have not been embellished for the sake of story-telling.)
3 Sure-fire ways to let you know that you need more sleep in your life:
1. You mistake nail varnish remover for eye make-up remover
I thank God that acetone smells like pure acid, because I only noticed my mistake as the cotton ball wafted past my nose towards my eye. Let us all take a moment to appreciate how catastrophically painful that would have been.
2. You morph your environment to suit your needs
Driving home from work the other day, I found myself exhausted and terribly hungry. (The most un-fun combo ever.) I glanced at a small shopping mall on my way home and some giant signage caught my eye. “PEKING DUCK”. Oh my goodness. How good would peking duck be right now? They must have amazing peking duck if they specifically made a giant neon sign to advertise it. I got home and thought about that darn peking duck through the night. The next morning I drove past the same mall and glanced at the sign. Apparently they were pointing out a very convenient “PARKING DECK”. No duck. Not even a little bit.
3. Your brain calender malfunctions (badly)
Let’s just say I’ve planned my entire day around meeting up with friends after work.
I’ve put my makeup bag in my car. (So that I can fix up my face in the car)
I’ve worn shoes to work worthy of evening attire. (Not practical nor comfortable)
And I’ve told a bunch of people that I’ll see em later. (Only to receive a message that says “You do know this is happening NEXT week, right?”
Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail.
To avoid confusion, hanger (hunger+anger) and/or severely disfiguring 3rd degree burns, it’s probably best if you just go to sleep at a reasonable hour. For the insomniacs out there like myself, maybe just take up yoga and don’t operate heavy machinery.