NEW VIDEO: Halloween – Party hacks and snacks

Well hello there,

I’ve been fiddling around with the idea of a video segment to this here blog for a while now. Having produced a very silly introduction video a few weeks ago which, quite frankly, I was not too impressed with – I found myself shoving that dream onto the back-burner in a hurry and instead staring at my computer screen for a few weeks hoping that inspiration would give me a smack across the face. (Hoorah. So productive.)

Lo and behold. I have decided not to over-think it (a God-awful habit of mine),  just freaking post something, and see what happens.

My skillzzz (yes, with a “z”) are completely lacking (production-wise) but since I love themed parties (and Halloween, in particular) I thought I’d start just off with a simple idea – and hopefully I will receive only constructive crit. (Who am I kidding? – Trolls! On your mark…)

I would be eternally grateful if you could “like” my video if you think I should do more stuff like this and/or subscribe to my channel if you’d like to be notified every time I post something. 🙂

Drop me a comment and let a gal know what you think.

Bisous!

Zozette

 PS: Kind of a fitting post for a channel launch – seeing as it is my 100th post! 😀

The Midweek Marshamallow: Internets pt 2

Hello again,

I know I’ve done this before, but I just can’t ignore the fact that people keep ending up on my blog after typing in very unusual Google search terms. Google searches that really shouldn’t be bringing them here.

I suppose that I should really be using these terms as a guide. I’m obviously not giving the people what they want.

*Sigh* Let’s give this a bash, shall we? *INITIATE FEEDBACK MODE*

1.  “Sparkly capsules poop confetti”

Um. I think you need to take a long, hard look at yourself and ask your inner-being whether this was what you wanted out of life. Is this the person you wanted to become? Do you feel as though you have been utilizing your time well? I hope this response has helped you find what it is you were “searching” for. ie: Not sparkly poop.

2. “Famous people scratching crotch”

mj

Enough? Not enough? More?

3. “Naked hairy man from Honduras”

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big foot

You’re welcome.

Bisous!

Zozette

Desperately seeking comfort food?

Hello there, everyone.

Well, more specifically, hello to all the single people out there.

I know that you are not really looking forward to Valentine’s day this year, and I know that the love-bird parades fluttering about the whole day are going to make your gag-reflexes kick in. But don’t worry, you’re not alone in this.

If you are not looking forward to a day alone, I have managed to rustle up a few suggestions to make this day a little easier (and simultaneously more sad) for the single gal/fella out there.

1. A Boyfriend pillow.

bf pillow

Look at that manly arm! Find this hunk for sale on Amazon. Also available in girlfriend material. (Haha – See what I did there?)

2. A cardboard cut-out of Jon Hamm

jon hamm

This lady has got it right! Papercuts aside, this date is wonderful company and easily stowed away when not in use.

3. Microwave dinners for one

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Sonia really looks like she knows how get the party started. Oh boy.

4. This musical compilation

On a serious note: Beyonce made millions of dollars singing about being single. (Nevermind that fact that she wasn’t actually single at the time). Grab a box of chocolates and stay in for a Community/New Girl/Super Fun Night marathon.  The single life ain’t that bad y’all.

Bisous!

Zozette

Shut up and listen: Girls who read

Hello world.

Here’s a little something to take you into the weekend with a smile on your face.

Mark Grist is his name, and he is a teacher-turned-poet/battle-rapper. His prepubescent opponents show up in trackies and snapbacks, while Mark arrives in a crisp suit – his deadly wit lying in wait. What follows is a rap battle of note, sending all of his competition off with their tails between their legs.

As well as his epic battles, his poetry has garnered quite the following on Youtube. My favourite (shown to me by my mother – Thanks mommy!) and the video that you need in your life today, is a poem called Girls Who Read. Insightful and sweet, and a slap on the wrist for every chauvinistic pig you know.

Happy Friday!

Bisous!

Zozette

The Midweek Marshmallow: Why did the chicken cross the road?

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to the other side.

We’ve all heard this stupid, stupid joke – which is apparently an example of “anti-humour”, where a traditional punchline is expected, but an obvious statement is relayed instead. But what if this joke has always been, in fact, a traditional joke, but no one has been smart enough to get it?

My genius little sister (Whose thoughts and internet meanderings can be found here and here) had a sudden realization the other day. “To get to the other side” has always been a traditional punchline. I’m sure some people have actually seen it that way – but I can assure you that a large percentage of the population are now going to have their minds blown.

(According to dictionary.com) 
"cross over to the other side" 
to die; pass away.

chicken*Car screeches to a halt*

Yes. Yes, I know.

Roadkill.

You are very welcome.

Bisous!

Zozette

Confession

Never will I regret a day more than the time I told my colleagues that I once cried while watching Michael Jackson’s Earth Song music video. (The looks of judgement I received were more than enough to keep me from revealing how many Celine Dion albums I actually owned.)  This is the confession that has haunted me relentlessly over the past few months, and I think it will continue to do so, for the rest of my life. Thank you female hormones for putting me in this uncomfortable position, yet again.

But come on, people!? The elephant just got right up again at the end?!

crysmall

Bisous!

Zozette

These are a few of my favourite… rap lyrics

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Rap music is not something you’d ordinarily find on my iPod, nor blaring out the speakers of my car. As a matter of fact, I’ve found that separating my Breezys from my Weezys, is not a task that I find too eezy. (See what I did there?)

However, being a writer, I can definitely appreciate the mind-blowing amount of time it takes to put together a song’s-worth of witty and sharp rhymes.

I am utterly confounded though, when producers allow lyrics of a rather ridiculous nature to actually make it into the recording studio.

So, for your amusement, I’ve compiled a list of my favourite facepalm-worthy rap lyrics. (Aren’t you lucky?)

1. “Haterz get mad cuz I got me some Bathin’ Apes.” – Soulja Boy

At first, I could only assume that Soulja Boy was talking about his haters becoming consumed by jealousy over the thought of his shower being filled with primates. I have since discovered that Bathing Apes are, in fact, a Japanese sneaker brand. Go figure.

2. “I like them black, white, Puerto Rican, or Haitian. – Like Japanese, Chinese, or even Asian.” – Chingy

I appreciate your openness and worldly tolerance, Chingy. Thank goodness Japan and China are not in Asia though, or these lyrics would be pretty redundant… Oh wait.

3. “Never let me slip, cause if I slip, then I’m slippin’” – Dr Dre

Uh… So are you saying that it totally slipped your mind that something slippery made you slip, while you were wearing a silk slip?

4. “Watch out for the medallion. My diamonds are reckless. Feels like a midget is hanging from my necklace.” – Ludacris

Christopher. Brian. Bridges.

It is frowned upon for people to “wear” little people as jewelry, or even suggest that it is possible.

5. “Dear Mr. Toilet. I am the sh*t. Got these haters p**sed, cause my toilet paper thick” – Lil Wayne

I’m all for a good metaphor, but I feel like this one may be lost on me. If Lil Wayne is, for lack of a better word, “the doo-doo” then why would he be so pleased about his toilet paper being so indestructible? Surely in the world of toilet humour – toilet paper is the arch-nemesis of poop? *Sigh* So confusing.

I wish I did enjoy rap music more. I feel like it could help me out with my obvious lack of street-cred. I guess I could just get a grill like Miley, some knuckledusters, and a face-tattoo instead? Yeah?

Bisous!

Zozette