Hallo, Halloween!

Since last year’s Halloween costume suggestions were found to be quite popular among readers, I thought I’d gather some new ideas for 2013. There is absolutely nothing better than a clever or funny costume – so hopefully some of these ideas inspire you to take the lesser traveled road (ie: The road faaaaar away from Slutty Street) when it comes to picking out your costume.

Because we all know we’re going to see a few of these this year:

Miley fancy dress.Urgh.

Let’s stick to the better, less vomit-inducing ideas, shall we?

Let us proceed:

Big bang fancy dress.Amy Farrah Fowler and Sheldon Cooper from the Big bang theory.

SHAMY! Super-funny and easy to execute!

Daria katy perry fancy dress.Daria and Jane Lane, portrayed by Katy Perry and Shannon Woodward.

Awesome throwback to the 90s MTV show.

Firefox fancy dress.Firefox!

Super clever tip-of-the-hat to a superior browser. 😉

Grumpy-CatGrumpy Cat.

Hey! Do you wanna come to my Halloween Par…. No.

Magritte fancy dress.The Son of Man by Magritte.

Art fanatics can pull this off in no time at all. Apple print-out + suit = Done!

Tulio Miguel fancy dress.Miguel and Tulio from The Road to El Dorado.

Because that cartoon was helluva funny, and if you didn’t think so, you probably had no pulse.

Up house fancy dressThe Up house!

Um, Pixar anything?! YAY!

Lazy fancy dress.Error 404.

Feeling lazy this year? Still keep it clever!




It could have been Nicholas Cage

Peeps like to complain. (Let’s not lie – I’m guilty of this myself.)

However, I always like to remind people to appreciate how things could have been so much worse.

Ben Affleck is going to be Batman? Eh. It could have been Nicholas Cage.


You don’t like Nickelback? Eh. It could have been called NickelCage.


You thought Miley Cyrus’ video was inappropriate? Well, it was… and a little pretentious, and unnecessarily exposed. BUT – now I hear my own words of wisdom in my head and smart-me says “Eh. IT COULD HAVE BEEN NICHOLAS CAGE.”

Happy Friday the 13th y’all.

May this image only stay in your head for 5 minutes while you laugh hysterically – then disappear from your mind permanently.



The Midweek Marshmallow: Le fatigue

My world is, and has always been, consumed by the never-ending sensation of tiredness.


Being a terrible sleeper from childhood, I have learned to cope with everyday life on minimal sleep. Unhealthy, I know – but something I’ve grown used to. However, I find that when I’m faced with a heavier than usual work-week, weird shit starts to happen. This is usually a sign that I actually need to make a conscious effort to GO TO SLEEP EARLIER.

If any of these things have happened to you this week – take it as a sure-fire signal that you need a decent nap. (Let me also just clarify that these events are 100% true and have not been embellished for the sake of story-telling.)

3 Sure-fire ways to let you know that you need more sleep in your life:

1. You mistake nail varnish remover for eye make-up remover

I thank God that acetone smells like pure acid, because I only noticed my mistake as the cotton ball wafted past my nose towards my eye. Let us all take a moment to appreciate how catastrophically painful that would have been.

2. You morph your environment to suit your needs

Driving home from work the other day, I found myself exhausted and terribly hungry. (The most un-fun combo ever.) I glanced at a small shopping mall on my way home and some giant signage caught my eye. “PEKING DUCK”. Oh my goodness. How good would peking duck be right now? They must have amazing peking duck if they specifically made a giant neon sign to advertise it. I got home and thought about that darn peking duck through the night. The next morning I drove past the same mall and glanced at the sign. Apparently they were pointing out a very convenient “PARKING DECK”. No duck. Not even a little bit.

3. Your brain calender malfunctions (badly)

Let’s just say I’ve planned my entire day around meeting up with friends after work.


(Not really.)

I’ve put my makeup bag in my car. (So that I can fix up my face in the car)

I’ve worn shoes to work worthy of evening attire. (Not practical nor comfortable)

And I’ve told a bunch of people that I’ll see em later. (Only to receive a message that says “You do know this is happening NEXT week, right?”

Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail.

To avoid confusion, hanger (hunger+anger) and/or severely disfiguring 3rd degree burns, it’s probably best if you just go to sleep at a reasonable hour. For the insomniacs out there like myself, maybe just take up yoga and don’t operate heavy machinery.



Walt Dis… no.

Anyone who knows me, knows about my undying Disney OBSESSION. (How old am I again?)

They also know about the fact that I am a crazy cat lady (even though I’m pretty damn allergic to them), which inevitably means that Grumpy Cat is a firm favourite of mine from this year.

Imagine my absolute glee on discovering a mash-up of the two? Digital artist Eric Proctor has dug into the depths of my marshmallow brain and pulled out these goodness-filled creations.

a_whole_new_no_by_tsaoshin-d6g7oweA Whole New No

circle_of_no_by_tsaoshin-d6h8pugCircle Of No

part_of_your_no_by_tsaoshin-d6f5s39Part Of Your No

So funny! Keep an eye on his Deviant Art page, because he promises another two in the next few weeks. (Tangled and Beauty and the Beast! O_O)



These are the people I wish papercuts upon

The sting is just enough to be irritating, but not painful enough to induce guilt… Therefore I am wishing nothing more than a papercut upon the following social media offenders:

1. People who use hashtags on Facebook.

Why why why why? Hashtags belong on Twitter. THEY LOOK IDIOTIC ON FACEBOOK. My goodness.

2. People who post Google images on Instagram.

The point of using Instagram filters, is to make your own personal photography pretty – like an old-school polaroid camera. NOT to post “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” quotes and other stuff of that gosh-awful nature.

3. People who write one status across four Twitter posts.

If it can’t be said in one or maybe two twitter posts, please please please take it to a blog, or a facebook status. (Or like, write a novel or something.) Characters are limited for a reason! (My sanity)

4. People who repin on Pinterest – without changing the caption.

Why do you re-pin and not change the original “This is for Stacey!” caption? Do you even know a Stacey?!

5. People who write 1st world pity posts (With absolutely no irony.)

“My life is in shambles… First, I couldn’t find my car keys, then I got a flat tire when I rode over a dog, and now my Robbie Williams – Millenium single is stuck in the cd player.”

I don’t care. I don’t think anyone else does. BLOCK BLOCK BLOCK.

6. People who use 200 hashtags per post

#I #dont #see #any #space #left #for #an #actual #message #Why #dont #you #delete #some #effing #hashtags #?

7. Internet trolls.

Those people who think they can be irritating/mean/insensitive/stupid because they are sitting behind a keyboard. PAPERCUTS TO ALL OF YOU.

8. People who call Pinterest, PIN-INTEREST.

I could die, seriously. It’s wordplay people – a word that COMBINES both PIN and INTEREST.



Rant over.

You may go back to your daily chores. ie: Procrastination.