10 Reasons to watch The Lego Movie ASAP – No spoilers

It comes out this weekend in South Africa, and you just need to go and watch it. Just do it. Even if it is the only movie you see this year. Goooo… Book now. What are you waiting for?!

Ten reasons why? Alright then.

The-Lego-Movie

1. Lego.

Lots of it. Everything you see on screen, effects and all, is in Lego pieces. It will blow your mind.

2. Voices.

Chris Pratt. Will Ferrell. Elizabeth Banks. Will Arnett. Nick Offerman. Alison Brie. Charlie Day. Liam Neeson. Will Forte. Morgan Freeman. Channing Tatum. Jonah Hill. Cobie Smulders. Shaquille O’Neal. Jake Johnson. Jorma Taccone. Dave Franco. Yes.

3. Batman.

With all the talk around Ben Affleck playing Batman, I didn’t expect to be blown away by a Lego interpretation at all. However, Will Arnett took the Batman character that has always lived in my mind and brought him to life. What a riot.

4. Ratings.

If you are one to follow critical ratings of animated features before taking the leap to the cinema, just know that The Lego Movie’s ratings lie in the same realm as Wall-E and The Lion King. ‘Nuff said.

5. Guest Lego stars.

From Gandalf, to Dumbledore, to Wonder Woman, to Shaquille O’Neal, expect to see all the Lego realms cross paths in the most entertaining way.

6. A message we all need to hear.

Underneath all that painted plastic lies a very important message. Especially for the kids of today who are consumed by social media and console gaming. Use your imagination. Use your hands. Make something from your own mind. At 25, I still need to push myself this way.

7. Killer soundtrack.

Featuring the voices of Will Arnett, Tegan & Sara, and the Lonely Island dudes – the music of TLM is a (terribly amusing) character of its own.

8. All-age fun.

Just like Shrek (The first one. The first time you watched it.) the humour in this scripting will transcend all age groups. A little something for everyone. Parents and older siblings, don’t hesitate to join the little ones on this one. Actually it’s more like: Little kids, don’t hesitate to join the adults on this one.

9. Sequel.

There are talks of a sequel being written already, and while the idea of this usually makes me gag, I am almost certain this will follow in the Toy Story sequel’s path. (And Shrek 2, I suppose?) This excites me. This excites me a lot.

10. Fucking magical.

If you ever played with Lego as a child (… or as an adult.) you’ll feel the magic within, from the moment Morgan Freeman opens the movie with a mystical prophecy about the most important person of all times. A prophecy that we are told must be true “because it rhymes.”

If you can fight the urge to rummage around for your long forgotten Lego collection when you get home, then you are a stronger human than myself.

I give this movie 5 Lego Zozette’s out of 5. No joke. I really loved it.

lego zoz

Watch it if you enjoyed: Toy Story or Wreck it Ralph.

Bisous!

Zozette

These are a few of my favourite… rap lyrics

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Rap music is not something you’d ordinarily find on my iPod, nor blaring out the speakers of my car. As a matter of fact, I’ve found that separating my Breezys from my Weezys, is not a task that I find too eezy. (See what I did there?)

However, being a writer, I can definitely appreciate the mind-blowing amount of time it takes to put together a song’s-worth of witty and sharp rhymes.

I am utterly confounded though, when producers allow lyrics of a rather ridiculous nature to actually make it into the recording studio.

So, for your amusement, I’ve compiled a list of my favourite facepalm-worthy rap lyrics. (Aren’t you lucky?)

1. “Haterz get mad cuz I got me some Bathin’ Apes.” – Soulja Boy

At first, I could only assume that Soulja Boy was talking about his haters becoming consumed by jealousy over the thought of his shower being filled with primates. I have since discovered that Bathing Apes are, in fact, a Japanese sneaker brand. Go figure.

2. “I like them black, white, Puerto Rican, or Haitian. – Like Japanese, Chinese, or even Asian.” – Chingy

I appreciate your openness and worldly tolerance, Chingy. Thank goodness Japan and China are not in Asia though, or these lyrics would be pretty redundant… Oh wait.

3. “Never let me slip, cause if I slip, then I’m slippin’” – Dr Dre

Uh… So are you saying that it totally slipped your mind that something slippery made you slip, while you were wearing a silk slip?

4. “Watch out for the medallion. My diamonds are reckless. Feels like a midget is hanging from my necklace.” – Ludacris

Christopher. Brian. Bridges.

It is frowned upon for people to “wear” little people as jewelry, or even suggest that it is possible.

5. “Dear Mr. Toilet. I am the sh*t. Got these haters p**sed, cause my toilet paper thick” – Lil Wayne

I’m all for a good metaphor, but I feel like this one may be lost on me. If Lil Wayne is, for lack of a better word, “the doo-doo” then why would he be so pleased about his toilet paper being so indestructible? Surely in the world of toilet humour – toilet paper is the arch-nemesis of poop? *Sigh* So confusing.

I wish I did enjoy rap music more. I feel like it could help me out with my obvious lack of street-cred. I guess I could just get a grill like Miley, some knuckledusters, and a face-tattoo instead? Yeah?

Bisous!

Zozette

Shut up and Listen: Tom Odell

Very rarely do I come across a song that makes me stop in my tracks and listen. I love a lot of music, don’t get me wrong, but sometimes I come across that one song that just gives me shivers down my arms, and gets my heart going. The type of song that I could play over and over. (and over.)

Now, the last time this happened, I had just discovered Gotye. I lived a good half a year, knowing the awesomeness that was the Gotye/Kimbra duo, and it was pretty magical. Then suddenly, EVERYONE was obsessed with (according to my records) a pretty damn old song. I was already kinda over it, and had played it to death. Cue every radio station in the country. *Sigh* I think people should start looking into my discoveries earlier darnit.

So, this time I won’t be selfish. I’m going to share the magic that is Tom Odell. 22 year old British singer/songwriter that you need to keep your eye on.

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His official debut album is only dropping in June, but this song from his EP has already got me hooked. Gorgeous song, simple video. Beautiful, but so sad at the same time. Stunning. Just stunning.

You’re welcome.

Bisous!

Zozette

Holi Moly

My honest-to-blog review of the 2013 Jozi Holi One/ We are one festival. Play-by-play, homies. PLAY. BY. PLAY.

2 Weeks before We are one:

Holi Moly – I hate to start on a negative note, but WHAT a ticket palava. Holi’s advertising stinks, so a lot of my friends missed out on tickets. Also, the use of a sub-par ticket hosting site means that many people are losing out due to technical errors. Not cool.

Holi Moly – I own no white clothing. What a stress. (Thank God for Mr P.)

Emmerentia dam – On arrival:

Holi Moly – I walk in through the entrance and all I can say is – What a well organized event. The sun is shining and for once festival food is something to get excited about! From spicy biryanis, to delicious stirfries, to Greek gyros, to chocolate dipped waffles on a stick! Not only is the food good, but the ginormous bar can also accommodate the hoards of people expected today. With a brutal fruit slushie in my hand, so far, so freaking good.

Holi Moly – Shopping!! Affordable goods to make your day extra fun and safe; Face masks with famous mouths printed on them, from The Joker, to the Cookie monster, to my own selection – Barbie. (Asthma annihilator!) White clothing for people who didn’t get the memo. (Thanks for telling me.) White umbrellas for more colour and sun coverage. (And eye poke-out…ing.) And of course, full body suits with goggles and masks, for those that want complete coverage from the colour. (Um… Just stay at home?)

Holi Moly – People are arriving… and I have a feeling I am going to be face-palming A LOT today. Is this Jersey Shore? Am I being Punk’d? Ashton? So so so very many orange idiots walking around. This is not H2O. Confused and a little bit irritated. Do these events not have a screening process?
Security: “Sorry sir, you are only wearing a speedo. Access denied.” or “Uh, ma’am, you look like a Dorito. Access denied.”

Holi Moly – I am SO lucky I went with great people. I’m not socializing with these freaks. YAY powder! YAY colour! *choke* YAY face mask! Much jumping around and powder throwing ensues.

Holi Moly – What shit is this line-up they call music? I was expecting something with, like, lyrics and stuff. As the sun moves downwards, the music is getting more unbearable.

Holi Moly– Let’s get out of here. Our pretty dust is thrown, we are filthy, the jocks are on the move…. and now the car is dirty. Sorry Danny.

beforeafter

Holi Moly – At least we enjoyed ourselves in our own bubble of colour and fun. AND we manged to get some great shots out of it. *Hi 5!* (Photos below courtesy of Jennifer Leigh, Daniel Brocklebank and myself.)

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A week later:

Holi Moly – Still coughing up powder. This breathing business is not easy.

HOLI MOLY – THE CONCLUSION

CRAP ticket organizers, AMAZING event organizers, LOVELY food, GREAT retail therapy, SHITTY music line-up, SCARY guest list. PRETTY colour dust! AWESOME friends.

Next year, maybe I’ll go to India instead?

Did anyone else go? I have a feeling CPT had a less vom-worthy crowd? Yeah?

– And they had December streets performing! Gosh.

Bisous!

Zozette

Mixtape: 5 South African bands to keep your ear on

(Yes, your ear. Keep it on them.)

With an enormous big blink 182 t-shirt on, and giant DC knock-offs on my feet, my teen-hood years were mostly spent bouncing from local concert to local concert, celebrating the South African music scene. My bestie and I went to almost every show that would allow a pair of nerdy 13 year-olds to dance among them.

When I had reached my late high school years, I found that most of the cool bands had disappeared, leaving SA music with (in my opinion) nothing but generic rubbish.

Only recently have I seen a re-surfacing of international-standard bands in South Africa, and since it was Heritage day yesterday, I thought I’d compile a mixtape of  five up-and-coming local acts who are crazy talented and deserve to make it big. (I am aware that some of these guys have been around for a few years – but gosh darnit – they need recognition!)

1. Gangs of Ballet

Tweet them!

You’ll love them if you like: Coldplay

Four guys from Durban absolutely killing the airwaves with this song:

2. Dance You’re on Fire

Tweet them!

You’ll love them if you like: Panic! at the disco (circa Pretty Odd)

Rock n’ Roll/Indie Joburg based group. – I know this song is like, 2 years old, but it’s such a goodie.

3. Newton’s 2nd Law

Tweet them!

You’ll love them if you like: the sound of a Lenny Kravitz/Seal lovechild

These Joburg guys opened for Rodriguez this year. Listen to their crazy-catchy debut single below:

4. The Plastics

Tweet them!

You’ll love them if you like: … Um… Foster the people… and The Gorillaz… and also Oasis. Yeah.

This CPT band’s current tour is called “The fun starts MEOW”, posters adorned with a kitty extreme-close-up. Does it get much better?

5. The Kongos

Tweet them!

You’ll love them if you like: Talented people. Oh, and I guess also Bob Dylan and their legendary papa, John Kongos

Greek, British, South African, American brothers of great talent and many beards. I happen to be Greek too and they answered me on twitter once, which kind of means we’re family.

So, I hope that opened your eyes and ears to the ridiculous selection of proudly South African musical geniuses we have right here in the motherland. Go buy some of their stuff on iTunes now. Yep.

Bisous!

Zozette

I memed a meme

It took me much longer than acceptable, but I finally watched Les Misérables – the film edition – a week or two ago.

Having never watched the onstage version nor read the book in any-which-way, meant that I was in for an absolute treat.

Besides the storyline being one of utter brilliance, I thoroughly enjoyed the production’s art direction, and even more-so, the songs and score.

A story of  poverty and heart-break, set in French history, when the poor were forced into slavery and prostitution. Sounds pretty miserable, no? But don’t be put off – it’s also a story of love and redemption, with an absolutely stunning cast.

Reasons to watch it:

– Anne Hathaway. Anne Hathaway. Anne Hathaway. This is the number one reason to watch this film. Her performance was short, but absolutely the most compelling. (Take some tissues with you)

– Hugh Jackman. This man has no limits to his talent. When that vein on his forehead pops out in anger, you are so ready to stand up in the cinema and scream “Viva, Jean Valjean! VIVA!”

– Theiving, greedy innkeepers, played by Sacha Baron Cohen and Helena Bonham Carter. Need I say more? They provide some very much needed comic relief. Their daughter Eponine (played by Samantha Barks – also in the West End version)  evolves in the most unlikely way, and it’s quite beautiful.

– The story, as I’ve already mentioned, is stunning – and very much lives up to Victor Hugo’s usual tales of heartbreak and social politics. (The Hunchback of Notre Dame)

– The groundbreaking vocals. Les Misérables was the first musical to make use of on-set vocal recordings. – As opposed to prerecorded songs and miming. It gave the characters a new depth. They were able to really act and react mid-song, and it made all the difference.

Reasons not to watch it:

– If you are not a fan of musicals, you will most definitely find yourself lolling off to dreamland within the first few minutes. After all, the entire movie is communicated through song! Not one piece of dialogue.

– Russel Crowe. God bless him and his Gladiator sandals, but I don’t think Mr Crowe’s vocal abilities quite lived up to the rest of the cast. He can very well hold a note (unlike Mr. Pierce Brosnan in Mamma Mia…) but I don’t think he was able to keep up strength-wise. He looked like he was concentrating very, very hard.

Pierce brosnan

Don’t sweat it bro. The ladies still love me.

That’s it. Not enough reasons for you not to watch it, methinks. Now hop to it. I think it’s still showing in some places.

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There are very few things I love more than a good musical. Except for maybe memes. Yes. I love memes a lot. So I’ve combined two of my loves and collected some Les Mis memes for your pleasure.

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honey-boo-boo-hero

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And my personal favourite: (Because it made me laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh…..)

Les-Misérables-Memes-all-friends-dead-W630

Bisous!

Zozette

The theatre of dreams

If you’ve ever found yourself contemplating a trip to theatre spectacular, Madame Zingara – I plead that you don’t hesitate ever again, and buy yourself a ticket. You will find yourself surrounded by nothing but magic, glamour and some of the world’s most talented acts.

From the moment you walk onto the theatre plot, you are greeted with unusual sets and stage props. As per usual, my friends and I became rather trigger happy and photographed the entire experience… (Take a browse, below.)

A fancy dress boutique welcomes you into a giant circus tent filled with weird and wonderful things. Guests have the opportunity to buy a fantastical dress-up item, or get their face painted with intricate designs.

My favourite part of the evening was (obviously) the part where the menu came into play. A five course meal, which started off with a delicious meze platter of different dips and snacks, followed by a perfect portion of creamy coriander and butternut soup. The entree was a super-tasty heart-shaped butternut ravioli with exotic mushrooms in a creamy butter sage sauce. Then, came the pièce de résistance,  Madame Zingara’s signature dish; Beef medallions in a dark chocolate-chili sauce, topped with deep-fried rice noodles. Absolutely delicious. Like, really. My plate was spotless.
Dessert was no different, with a trio of perfectly executed puddings. A passion fruit panna cotta, a chocolatey espresso mousse, and a warm Malva pudding.

Needless to say, it was much enjoyed, and we were all rolling out of there by the end of the evening.

Let me not leave out the rip-roaring entertainment. With unique acts, each one more astounding than the last, there was definitely a little something for everyone. Contortionists, trapeze acts… a real class-act selection! I have to say, my favourite act had to be drag Queen extraordinaire, Cathy Specific, and her sassy Trolley Dolleys. An absolutely stunning performance from three “men” with the best legs I’ve ever seen. Great entertainment. Great Food. Great company.

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Bisous!

Zozette